Uncomfortable Experiences – David Koestler

How to Find Good in the Mediocre

This is an image illustrating the several copies I went through to get to my final poster that I had to present in the MindCORE symposium

It was December of 2022, and I had to start thinking about applying for internships. I had gained lots of clinical experience from my volunteer work as an Emergency Medical Technician (EMT) throughout the years and knew I wanted to enter a profession where I was actively helping people (specifically kids) and working in the mental health field. However, I found very minimal clinical experiences in my online internship research due to patient confidentiality. Luckily, my doctor was kind enough to put me in contact with a neuropsychologist who soon offered me a position over the summer to shadow her, testing kids, and doing research. I was very excited about this opportunity but was waiting to hear back from a few other internships that I applied for.

It was around March of 2023 when I heard back from my final internship. I got into the MindCORE program at the University of Pennsylvania! Out of hundreds of applicants, 20 people (half of whom were Penn students), including myself, got into this program. I think my EMT experience and vulnerability in my cover letter assisted my odds of getting into this program. I was a bit skeptical, however, of confirming my position at UPenn because I had never done research, nor did I know if I would find it interesting. After a lot of consideration, I ended up choosing the UPenn internship as I thought it would give me insight into my level of interest in research. I learned a lot from my summer experience, including more about PsyD and Ph.D. programs and whether I want to continue doing research in the future. Throughout the program, I built long-lasting relationships with my mentors that I will never forget. I am glad I took this opportunity because it allowed me to explore my potential interest in research, which will help me navigate my future career path.

Zero Expectations, Infinite Possibilities: A New Mindset

This image are my notes of the valuable takeaways I grabbed from the self-help book.

I am not a big reader, yet I started this self-help book called Braving the Wilderness, which speaks about independence and accepting individual time. This book specifically speaks about living a better life with true belonging and dealing with pain. Throughout my life, I have struggled to find belonging, especially in school. I never did sports, but I participated in theater. However, while I had some sense of community in theater, I never found my true friends. As I entered college, I thought it would be a fresh beginning to a great four years. Part of this statement is true as I found my best friend, but I continue to bug myself for not having a friend group. I thought that having a friend group would make me feel more comfortable when I went to parties. I have these large expectations that blur my positive moments and make it difficult for me to enjoy life in college. Thus, living a life of happiness does not come easy.

When I started this book, the key themes that struck me were that I need to have zero expectations and be curious and neutral. While everyone wants true belonging, we need to accept ourselves before we find ourselves in friend groups. Not everyone has the same behavior or perspectives as me, and thus, I cannot hold expectations that people will react the way I want them. Additionally, I need to keep a curious and neutral mindset to meet people. Regardless of whether I become friends with them or not, I can’t let people drag me down. I thought this mindset seemed ridiculous and difficult to follow because I am an emotional person. Yet, the book recognizes that braving the wilderness is learning how to trust ourselves. This trust will allow me to grow as a person confidently! I think trusting myself and following the mindsets written in the book will allow me not to become stuck on problems that come into my life, but rather grow and expand these bumps in my journey as reflective experiences that will inform my future life. Overall, I continue to grow as an individual and learn better life management skills to embrace the wilderness.

Mt. Monadnock

The Spring 2023 semester was winding down, and it was a few weeks before finals. I decided to join the Outdoors Club on a trip to New Hampshire to camp and climb Mount Monadnock. My participation in this club increased during my sophomore year because I wanted to meet new people and challenge myself. I hadn’t done many challenging hikes before; however, I was involved in Boy Scouts, which gave me some experience, unlike some other people on the trip.

The Bottom

It was 6:00 a.m. when one of the club members started playing the song Waking Up Easy. I was not a morning person, and waking up was not easy at all! It was very cold that morning, but I was much happier with cold weather than it being hot. We eventually drove to the start of the trail, and I had my backpack on my shoulders, ready to trek the trail. I started off leading the group up the trail but soon fell behind as the air became thinner and the rocks became steeper. While I wish we had taken more frequent breaks, I persevered onward and put out a strong attitude. I kept wondering how the hike down would be and if it would be more complex than the hike up. I reminded myself constantly to stay engaged in the hike and embrace my surroundings because of the rareness that I would get this experience again. I believe this focus on “being present” helped me persevere through the hike.

The Top

I climbed one more steep rock and saw the world ahead of me! I couldn’t believe my eyes. The blue skies and little creeks that were in front of me. I could not get this if I stayed at Wesleyan. My peers and I cheered, and I took my Polaroid camera out of my backpack that I trekked all the way up the mountain, and captured the amazing views of my accomplishment.